Winnipeg Free Press

Winnipeg Free Press (Newspaper) - January 16, 1995, Winnipeg, Manitoba Editor Morley 6977307 entertainment Winnipeg free press monday dogs linked to new dimension missing universe found in office 1know you probably have a lot on your mind but you should be aware that 90 per cent of the universe is at least that what astronomers Are i personally my Only exposure to the universe was an astronomy course i took in my Sophomore year at Haverford College motto we never heard of and the Only astronomical principle i Learned was because of the rotation of the Earth about its astronomy class started Way too Early in the morning to actually attend in i needed to sleep late in College because i usually stayed up very late working with my Rob Bob Stern and Ken on important academic projects such As ordering pizza or assembling the legendary woman cardboard sub this was a miniature submarine that we obtained by sending away to a company that advertised in Marvel it came in a very Flat but when we assembled All the we had an actual working woman submarine in every possible respect except that 1 the two men could not be in it and 2 being constructed entirely of it was not ideally suited for the underwater but it was perfect for the dormitory we used it to impress on Friday wed Spray plenty of right guard Brand deodorant in our then go Over to Bryn mawr pick up our hot dates and bring them Back to our dormitory which was romantically illuminated by an Orange flashing Light that was originally part of a traffic the theory was that our dates would take one look at this flashing Light reflecting off of the woman submarine and be driven wild with sexual for reasons that Are still not this never maybe we didst use enough right but the Point what with one academic activity or i failed to learn much about the or anything which is Why i went into the Field of we journalists make it a Point to know very Little about an extremely wide variety of topics this is How we stay we Are also extremely impressed with and we print just about any Wacky thing they Tell especially if it involves outer for were always printing stories about Black even though nobody Here in journalism and we travel extensively has Ever actually seen a Black which is this alleged object that sucks everything into itself and never lets anything Back like a vending or senator Ted we journalists love astounding astronomical things like if astronomers announced that they had in a Distant by squinting really hard through their a Harmonica measuring 67 Lightyear wed print this on the front with a Little Chart converting Lightyear to football Fields so that the would have a better grasp of the this is Why Many newspapers devoted frontage space to the Story a couple of months you May have seen reporting that two teams of astronomers who have been using the Hubble space Telescope have announced that there unable to locate 90 per cent of the matter that supposed to be in the of course your immediate As a is to say to these astronomers of course youve been unable to locate you idiots youre using the Hubble space which needed million in repairs before it could distinguish Between a Star and a dead Bug on the i dont think we should be so if trained astronomers equipped with pocket protectors say that 90 per Bent of the universe is then i say we should believe and i say we should help them find in guessing that a Good 60 to 70 per cent of it can be found in my i have accumulated a lot of stuff Over the including i am not making any of this stuff up 12 different types of Beer including Bone Beer and jumping cow Amber a can of pork brains in milk Gravy a years Supply of anti flatulence products several dozen miniature replicas of the Oscar Mayer Wiene Mobile a toy gun that makes rude bodily noises and the entire preserved reproductive tract of a in saying this last item for exactly the right prank concept it will probably involve Newt so lets say 65 per cent of the universe is in my office even when we add the 10 per cent that the astronomers were still missing 25 per i dont know where it but i have a pretty Good idea who is responsible the person who tipped me off to this is Darrell Libby of who wrote me a letter pointing out when dogs dig in they produce but they do not produce piles of there might be a Little dirt lying but never enough to fill in the Darrells theory is that the dirt is being pawed into the Ozone or that enough dirt is being tossed into the sky that another planet will be formed somewhere Between Earth and thanks to the Hubble we now know that this is not the Case a More logical explanation is that dogs have somehow figured out How to Paw the dirt into speaking of Newt Gingrich a completely different they must be stopped before they Paw the entire universe out of this is a time for All humans to set aside their Petty differences and join together to combat this deadly each of us contributing what he or she ill throw in some pork brains in milk Miami Herald monday fresh 1 in prime time War on god Abc out for a family lbs show Man trek next out for pulse Nous her tiers sport Kerr show Abc ballgame death in Small old pins Contd can King country City Les it up Healing night is about care tic pcs War on discovery of inside Bravo news uhf rid new world in Byrne Between the Teeth Dave top vision to of Huntley showcase fools of her tiers do family child of smart movie Max Charity the fast going in the Lotus Solomons trek patrol gospel music Ken free press Mcmahon from Reznik and Jackson perform weekly gig at the Pembina Reznik always ready to let guest perform George Reznik has been playing jazz piano in Winnipeg clubs for 50 since he quite a few years too Young to even set foot in a he has played with jazz guitar great Lenny backed barbra Streisand at the original town n country but mostly the 65yearold musician has fronted his own group or played Solo in every place in town there and that is still where he prefers to a club play ing to an appreciative audience with longtime musical friends and associates Bob Moose Jackson on Bass and Bill Mcmahon on and often a guest performer who drops remembers the past he wont refuse a request to sit remembering his own first Chance As a teenager at the Lon gone Rancho Don Carlos nightclub when he filled in for an absent piano player his first jazz i always give a kid a Chance because i always remember the Guys gave me a Chance to sit for on a recent saturday afternoon at the Pembina where his Trio has a regular weekly Tenor sax and flute player Frank Moreau sat in for a couple of rez has played the Pembina gig for a to judge by the number of people he greets by name As they wander in of an he has made More than a few the Trio also plays windows lounge at the Sheraton quite often with Singer Karen the Pembina Job came about in an jazz Chris Smith unusual rez was playing at a Wake in the hotels banquet room and manager Trevor Druxman heard liked what he and booked the Trio for the weekly jazz rez was classically starting As a but quickly Learned that music is notes Are notes its How you throw them Canadian jazz great Oscar Peterson was res first influence on Peterson was a family Friend of one of res friends and came in one Day As rez was he told me i had Good rez i asked him to play and he ripped the hell out of this piano for about four fifty years rez still likes the performing its never like q q q Minneapolis gospel sound makes a return trip to Winnipeg on Friday for a concert at the Winnipeg Art gallery with local guest performers Cecile Brown and Margaret Rose its the groups second visit to Canada the first was at last Summers jazz Winnipeg sax player and vocalist d Wight Buckner said the 11piece group six five musicians is looking Forward to the a prelude to its United states College tour next the group performs contemporary and traditional gospel and spirituals to show the audience where gospel music came Buckner said in a Telephone interview from the groups Overall audience is Broad and depends on the venue we from jazz clubs to College auditoriums to churches of Many Buckner we find a lot of people have never been exposed to contemporary gospel with an r and b beat and jazz before last Summers performance group members what can we do unique for he and prepared a gospel Medley of beatles this second trip was easier and he Hopes to come Back More tickets for the wag Friday at Are at ticketmaster and the it is sponsored by the jazz Winnipeg and the which will record it to be broadcast in february on the radio show random q q q jazz Singer Yolande who replaced Annie Ross in the famous Hendricks and Ross will play four shows during two at Rae and backed by the Ron Paley the new Yor based Singer appeared at the first jazz Winnipeg festival in 1990 and a jazz Winnipeg fundraiser two years Cavan was a protege of Billie her octave vocal Range has made her a popular Advance Are available at Rae and jerrys or by calling 7758154 plus up path schedule changes received too late for publication in the current to scene Are highlighted showcase in the current were reprints will actually appear hours than the above listings Are Sale on now Gallant Sircher thread 2 free patterns get Many Mori in Stori bargain 2fre knits jogging chambray huge selection of polyesters and Rayons varied widths 1m git Home decor solids laces selected groups varied contents widths wills corduroys fleece great selection varied contents widths varied contents widths 2mfree Imit 2mfreel2mfree ;