Winnipeg Free Press

Winnipeg Free Press (Newspaper) - July 31, 1995, Winnipeg, Manitoba Q Winnipeg free press july entertainment editor Morley 6977307 gratuitous sex and violence Are key to film Guys like different movies As a sensitive and artistic i have spent a lot of time recently trying to figure out How i can Cash in on the Bridges of Madison this is of course the humongous bestseller Book by Robert James Edward Henry Morton Bud it was recently made into one of the Summers top Batman the movie is called the Bridges of Madison it tells the compelling Story of a lonely and bored Iowa farm wife named Francesca who is actually meryl Streep but her family does not realize this because she has dyed her hair and is using an one Day Francesca family goes away on a and her life is changed forever by the arrival of photographer Robert who is really Clint Eastwood disguised As a 127yearold thrown together by Robert and Francesca spend the next four incredibly intense and passionate Days arguing about whether to launch nuclear missiles against sorry that was Crimson in the Bridges of Madison Robert and Francesca have a torrid at the end of which forced by circumstances to make the most agonizing decision of her turns to Robert an unforgettably dramatic something that you cant hear because All the women in the theatre audience Are blowing their noses in a vast collective honk of anguish loud enough to rattle the Popcorn in some when this movie Rescue dogs have to be sent in to Lead people to the exits through Lightfoot High Drifting Mounds of wadded up kleenex Brand facial my Point is that the Bridges of Madison county makes women which of course Means that they love its different with Guys cry Only if something happens that they consider to be truly usually involving a third Down if a Guy is really enjoying a he will not Manifest this by crying he will Manifest this by chewing his milk duds in a More thoughtful As a Guys dont care for movies with a lot of Guys become bored if a movie character Speaks More than two consecutive sentences without some kind of important plot defined As car or Sharon Stone re crossing her by this the Bridges of Madison county contains very few plot developments and is thus not really a Guy this is the basis for my plan for cashing in on Ive taken the original idea by making a few Subtle written the following screenplay treatment for a improved version of the entitled the Bridges of Madison county for it begins with scene one Francesca a 40ish Iowa farm housewife played by Drew is saying goodbye to her played by the late Fred husband goodbye ill be at a Boring correlated event for several during which ill have no Way of knowing if you have a torrid affair Francesca of he drives Francesca i guess ill get naked and look at myself in a Mirror she scene two it is later in the Francesca is in the spreading wearing a thong when a pickup truck it is driven by Robert a weather beaten swish photographer played by Keanu Robert in lost want to have sex Francesca you bet they scene three Francesca and Robert Are in the Francesca you have a big Lens Robert thanks in a photographer for National Here to take pictures of covered Bridges Francesca sounds Boring lets have More sex Streep women movie they scene four the next Francesca and Robert Are driving to a covered Bridge in his pickup another truck appears from behind and rams Francesca yikes who doing that n Robert those Are rival covered Ridge photographers from life Magazine today lineup for july 31 sundays answer Stop at nothing Francesca what shall we do Robert ill run them off the and because this is a the instant their truck strikes any including a stalk of it will explode in an enormous cinematic fireball it scene five Francesca and Robert Are Back at the Francesca that was a refreshing Shower Robert looking out the Uhoch your husband has returned Francesca of no Robert wait a minute his pickup truck has exploded in an enormous cinematic fireball As a result of being hit by a missile fired by a fighter Jet piloted by Tom cruise Francesca whew that was close Robert and now Kevin Costner dad is coming out of the wearing an old fashioned baseball uniform Francesca what a heartwarming ending to this despite the gratuitous sex and violence Robert even Bob Dole would approve Bob Dole sure All i care about is getting elected Francesca Given the current state of american this movie actually has a Chance of getting made it Miami Herald out and about rumours comedy club Whitney to saturday 8 Star trek federation science museum of Man and to 4 and nightspots mirrors one 2 Palomino club Back to Silverado Rodeo Silver Spike Saloon Rob stardust Saloon Way out Sunstone Coffee Ron Paley and Frank Westbrook inn theatre farms and factories Heri Tage marquee tent at the to and Junior Dinosaur cum Manitoba childrens 10 to 8 the great space treasure Hunt movies cinematheque to wednes to a wonderful world of fabrics at 255 Vaughan savings on us Dollar Exchange Many inshore specials Walters gets Hurley to talk by Christy Slewinski new York daily news after a month of silence and Eliza Beth Hurley will finally speak out about Boyfriend Hugh Grants Mega publicized Dalli Ance with a Hollywood its Barbara Walters who snagged the Friday night at Abc news will broadcast Walters one none with Hur who Hast yet talked publicly about her reaction to the incident or the Brouhaha that Walters and Hurley quietly taped the exclusive Chat in a Manhattan hotel wednesday Hurley came to the site dressed in an or Midriff revealing sweater and Black during the she kicked off her curled up in her according to an Abc an swered every question i that includes Why she thinks Grant solicited the prostitutes How the incident has affected her life and where the two Are at this Point in their relation and whether she has for Given Grant pleaded no contest to a charge of lewd conduct ear Lier this and did a tour on the talk show circuit publicizing his new movie and apologizing for the Jessica bridal warehouse bridesmaid party dresses drastically reduced for the Bride bridal party Complete selection of Beautiful Large assortment of embroidered Crep Eback iridescent polka Dot get an Early Start on your fall Winter wardrobe a Large selection of wools for Silks Plain printed Wool Challis to coordinate summer savings Sale ends As Low As Large selection of designer wedding gowns now on Sale Headpiece or veil on buy now for next years wedding save 633 Portage at Sherbrook 7866302 printed Rayons polyesters Linen Linen looks prints 65 35 Cotton 115 pm wide open to 6 m Centre Quality and service 9438523 e along with will be awarding weekend passes to Selkirk Sun country Jam every Day until August summer savings All week at Mitchells to cottages fireplace Whirlpool veranda private Sandy Beach Jessica Lake i summer suiting Large selection of versatile Linen Linen look fashion Bummer weight solid colors plaids printed All Stock 13487544 office hours 10 am7pm 51 years of relaxation at its 637 main Mitchell fabrics sunday 125 simply Call the Winnipeg free press contest line at Call in contest grand prize to Register your name and to identify the qx104 pm Sun country song of the Calls will be taken from 7 am11 pm winners will be declared daily and notified by Telephone and All winners names will appear in the Winnipeg free press after the if you entries May be dropped off Between 9 am2 pm daily at the free press building in the Sun country contest leave your phone Date and song of the Day to be listen to four front Row grandstand seats for the Sun country Jam use of a motor Home for the Courtesy of cd Library of favorite country Star appearing at the j will to charged per minute callers must be 18 years of age or older to Cator Hove their parents Call As often As you All Calls and entries received will be entered into the grand prize ;