Winnipeg Free Press

Winnipeg Free Press (Newspaper) - October 30, 1995, Winnipeg, Manitoba C4 Winnipeg free october warning to tasteful readers read this column at your own risk tightening up poultry safety tote Are approaching the thanksgiving when we pause to reflect on our blessings by eating pretty much nonstop for an entire then staggering off to still with wads of stuffing clinging to our its a spiritual but it can also be a tragic time if an inadequately cooked Turkey gives us Salmonella which occurs when tiny Turkey dwelling Salmon get into our swim upstream and spawn in our brains this is probably what happened to Ross that Why the american Turkey and Giblet Council recommends to insure proper you Cook your Turkey in a heated oven for at least two full quarters of the Viking Lions then give a piece to your dog and observe it closely for symptoms such As running for some we wont have to take these not if the govern ment approves a Radical new concept in poultry safety being proposed by a com Pany in Rancho i am not making up Rancho Cucamonga its a real place whose Odd sounding if you look it up in your Spanish English turns out to mean Cucamonga i am also not making up the poultry Safe to which was discussed in a lengthy news Story by Randyl drummer in the May 16 Issue of the Inland Valley daily sent in by Many Alert read before i quote from this i need to Issue a warning to tasteful readers you should not i not read the rest of this column if you Are Likely to be in any Way offended by the term Turkey speaking of the editors of the Nashville Banner will definitely want to take a close look at the Fol lowing thank the Story appears on the daily bulletins business under the pacer backing new use for it i As follows Rancho Cucamonga Jim Munn Hopes that the government and the Poul try Industry will get behind his process for gluing Chicken and Turkey Jim the Story is the pres ident of a company called pacer techno which makes super the Story believes that meat contamination can be reduced by gluing shut the rectal cavities of turkeys and Chicken needless to this would be done after the chickens and turkeys have gone to that big barnyard in the sky otherwise everybody involved would have to be paid a ridiculous amount of the Story states that Munn became intrigued by a poultry rectal glue product after a Federal inspector contacted him and said he had used super glue on a i frankly find it hard to believe that a Federal employee would admit such a after what happened to Bob pack but Jim Munn thought it was a terrific he plans to Market the product under the name get ready poultry officials applaud the states the i i am All for gluing turkeys shut in i think they should be glued shut As a i do not wish to come into Contact with those Gross that come packed inside there Are few scarier experiences in life than having to put your unarmed hand inside the Clammy recesses of a dark ened Turkey and pull those things never knowing when one of them will Sud Denly come to life like the creature in the movie leap off your Kitchen counter and skitter around snacking on household so i urge you to Telephone your congressperson immediately and state your position on this Issue clearly and forceful As follows i favor gluing Turkey rec tums to Thile you have your congressperson on the you might want to Point out that the Walt Disney is secretly using cartoon movies to promote i have Here a document from an organization called the american life entitled official statement on Disney perverted Anima the document states that Disney has been putting smut into its cartoon and cites the following which i am still not making up in when Prince Babwa Calls on Princess Jasmine on her a voice Good take off your the document further asserts that in the same Abu the Monkey says a bad in the Little the of Fici Ator in the wedding scene is obviously sexually not Only but the Box cover of the Little Mermaid contains a phallic Symbol in the Centre of the Royal in the lion when Simba plops the Cloud of dust that he stirs to the upper left of his forms the let ters if you remove the spells none of this surprises i have been suspicious of the Disney people Ever since it was first pointed out to years that Donald Duck does not Wear there is Way More of this perversion going on than we Are aware and it is not limited to look at the shape of the life savers package Are we supposed to believe that coincidence this kind of thing is and today i am calling on you As concerned individuals with a lot of spare to look for instances of hidden perversion in commercial then report them to me by sending a postcard to smut Dave Miami working we will get to the Bottom of and then we will glue it the Miami Herald Hunter an appealing team by Bob Strauss los Angeles daily news Weaver from Mulroney and Hunter on the Trail of serial killer in new this weeks psycho thriller stars Sigourney Weaver As a Brilliant psychologist who is half crazy and Holly Hunter As a police detective who is crazy about her theres More Here than copy cats title to indicate that the movies a Little but its a Sterling entry in this brutal film Cycle just the and that due to its two terrific an even More appealing team than Morgan Freeman and Brad Pitt Are in Weaver and Hunter turn tracking Down Seri Al killers into a bracing act of intellectual rigor and profession Al when san Francisco investigator Monahan and traumatized criminal psychologist Helen Hudson ally to Nail an ingenious serial killer who models his Mur Ders on the works of the great masters the Boston son of Ted it the poor Guys party Days Are obviously that if Hunters Tungho can keep movie review copycat starring Sigourney Weaver and Holly Hunter Portage Kildonan vital restricted out of five weavers unravelling Hudson together Long enough to get the Job Hudson Hast left her Condo for More than a since another cackling Lunatic Harry Connick tortured and almost killed her following a College its a fabulously spacious with a great Marina View and etched out like tomorrow land id never leave but the Doc gets debilitating panic attacks just going out in the Hall to pick up the thus Shes taken to entertaining herself by washing Tranquili Zers Down with but her professional interest is piqued by the new series of bizarre and since and her Ruben Goetz Dermot have zip for its Worth their while to hold Helens hand through her dark nights of the which our Friend the fiendish Genius is determined to make even he attacks Hudson through her elaborate computer system with tantalizing but untraceable and despite Roundt Hemlock police the killer seems capable of breaking into Hudson Only remaining Refuge at leaving charming mementos like severed fingers the whole agoraphobia thing is a gimmick that does pro vide Weaver with lots of opportunities for showy breakdown acting which must have Given her a Good Deal of creative Satis but which we rent really that when Hudson is focusing her formidable intellect on solving the crimes and out smarting the Weaver is Hunter is another actress who excels at expressive she can be As Tough As on Quality Hoto finishing 1 hour service 4x6 Glossy prints 24 exposure presidents 400 Iso film made by one erf the top two film companies in the world better hash and action than 100 Iso perfect film for halloween each May vary with to if my in effect till coming the real your Kef in monday 1030 voting of a movie degree of nation in show degree of pulse Leet of decks trek next id bears at Minnesota red wings at Winnipeg King the City i bases bees e31 to the country to the the burning on Fol inside 9 museum trek next leed eel vision Huntley of Saij murder in 09 tales White Fang 2 de movie the apprenticeship of Duddy movie Way of whale Matlock the Perry trek patrol the China Lake updates changes received too late for the current tvs Cene Are highlighted ;