Winnipeg Free Press

Winnipeg Free Press (Newspaper) - June 24, 2004, Winnipeg, Manitoba A18 Canada / world Winnipeg free press thursday june 24, 2004 a few things get changed in hip version of the traditional Bible hip Bible Mark 1 4 in those Days that Jesus came from Jordan. As he was climbing up the Bank make clean the outside of the cup and the authorized version John did baptize in Nazareth of Galilee and was baptized of again the Sun shone through a Gap in the Platter but within they Are full of extortion the wilderness and preach the baptism of John in Jordan. And Straightway coming Clouds. At the same time a Pigeon flew and repentance for the remission of up out of the water he saw the heavens Down and perched on him. Jesus took is Cool new version take a running jump holy new version John nicknamed the opened and the spirit like a Dove this As a sign that gods spirit was with Joes humbugs you Wash your plates dipper was the voice. He was in the descending upon him. And there came a him. A voice from overhead was heard and cups in Case they be been used by desert inviting people to be dipped to voice from the heaven saying thou Are saying that a my boy you re doing bad people and the luxury food and wine show they were determined to change my beloved son in whom i am Well Fine ? says top you eat and drink from those same plate their ways and wanted to be Matthew 23 26 and cups come from the profits of your Mark 1 9-11 new version then Jesus came from authorized version woe unto you Shady business interests. You re Blind to authorized version and it came to pass Nazareth to be dipped by John in the scribes and pharisees hypocrites for be real dirt you anglican sexual frustration not Good it advises by Richard Starnes t he archbishop of Canterbury has personally endorsed a hipster version of the new testament that renames heaven the world beyond time and space and warns Christian couples against becoming sexually frustrated. The fresh translation entitled As Good As new turns upside Down St. Paul a warnings against fornication which appear in the authorized King James version of the Bible. It also changes original greek and hebrew names of major biblical figures into nicknames and refers to parables As riddles and baptism As a dip in water. The Book is the work of John Henson translation coordinator of one a British network of Radical christians that has Long advocated inclusive Lan Guage in the Bible. Writing the foreword to the Book archbishop Rowan Williams the world wide head of the anglican Church suggests some parts will startle. For example the authorized Bible quotes St. Paul in 1 corinthians 7 As say ing it is Good for a Man not to touch a Henson a version says some of you think the Best Way to Cope with sex is for men and women to keep right away from one another. I think that is More Likely to Lead to sexual offences. My advice is for everyone to have a regular partner. Husbands and wives should strive to meet each others sexual needs. They should submit to one Aneth his work is or for that purpose. For a Large its not Good to refuse a part of the Henson who religious acknowledges he has devoted much of his Reading life trying to screen Public about stale technical Well kept unconsciously exclusive words in order secret to make the Bible ? archbishop More easily Access Rowan Williams ble has sought out modern ways to express almost every thing. Nick naming prominent characters for example. Mary Magdalene becomes Maggie St. Peter becomes Rocky Andronicus becomes Andy and Barab Bas becomes Barry. Then there is Demon Possession which turns into mental illness the son of Man is the Complete person and salvation becomes Healing. Johns presentations of the Christian gospel is of extraordinary Power simply because it is so close to the prose and poetry of Ordinary life says Williams. We have Here a vehicle for thinking and worshipping that is fully earthed. Blunt and Beautiful prayers familiar hymns made fresh ? polished and reset As John would Williams Points out that the gospels explain How unprofessional a religious audiences were thrilled to hear the words of Jesus and suggests for that to be plausible today they will need some thing like Johns renderings. His work is for a Large part of the religious Reading Public a Well kept secret. I Hope this Book will help the secret to be shared and to spread in Epi Demic profusion through religious and irreligious ;