Winnipeg Free Press

Winnipeg Free Press (Newspaper) - November 7, 2006, Winnipeg, Manitoba A2 Winnipeg free press tuesday november 7, 2006 in the Doug House Doug Speirs i a really not a potty Mouth. I swear i was sitting at my computer saturday afternoon waiting for professionally humorous thoughts to form in my brain when a scream erupted from the Den. I know exactly what you Are thinking Here but let me assure you this is not yet another wildly humorous and insightful column about mice. This scream was not so much an Yeeee Peeek As it was an As a concerned modern Parent and responsible Homeowner i wandered into the Den to investigate. That a when i found my teenage son rolling around on the carpet and turning the air Blue with expletives deleted. I sensed something was wrong. Is something wrong i asked my son As he wriggled about like a piece of Bacon on a hot frying pan. You will find this hard to believe but i can come up with questions like this even though i have no formal medical training yes my son howled i bad word burned my bad word Finger being professionally curious i pressed on. How did you manage that i asked. The bad word microwave made this bad word food too bad word hot he snarled. As a modern nurturing Parent this seemed like an Excel Lent Opportunity to provide my son with some fatherly wis Dom. You probably should to eat with your fingers i pointed out. That a not bad word funny he replied in that unappreciative Way teenagers have. As i dipped his damaged digit in ice water my wife arrived and demanded to know what the Brouhaha was about. The boy was swearing i explained. Like father like son my wife sniffed. And what is that supposed to mean i demanded. Where do you think he Learned to talk like that she asked. I a guessing the Neighbours i offered. Here my wife gave me a rather withering look. He gets it from you or. Potty Mouth she barked. That a not fair i replied. I have a system what system my wife snorted. So i told her. Kids always do the exact opposite of what their parents do. So by using bad words i a teaching them to be polite you re a Fine role Model dear my wife said although i a not completely sure she was being sincere. And that is today a important parenting lesson ? my sys tem works. Through creative use of language i have taught my children what not to say in Public. I created this ingenious system a few years Back when the kids and i returned Home to discover our Basset hound had redecorated the living room in a garbage in a word i went ballistic using the strongest terms Possi ble to explain to the garbage eating beast that Coffee grounds and egg shells did not match our decor. After listening to this foul tirade my daughter then about six years old gave me a look that could kill then marched Over to the phone and punched in a number. Hello could i speak to my Mommy she said into the phone As i looked on in wonder. A few seconds later my wife came on the line. Hello Mommy i heard my daughter say in her sternest voice. Daddy says he a going to kill the dog after hanging up the phone my daughter gave me the cold shoulder and stomped up to her room. About 30 minutes later she emerged carrying an empty Jar which she thrust into my hands. This is for you daddy she scowled. On the Container was a hand printed Label Reading Swar Jar Reglar Swars 50 cents. Real bad Swars $1? it took her and her Little Jar about a month to hit me up for enough change to buy a Small yacht. But now that she a a teenager Don to Call it the Swar Jar anymore. We like to think of it As her College fund.?. City stars sign bowls empty bowls signed by the likes of the rolling stones and Jean Beliveau go to auction for the Benefit of Winnipeg Harvest. B3 business its Battles losses in its traditional Long distance and land line businesses helped fuel a 10 per cent decline in its Al Stream a third Quarter profits the com Pany revealed monday. / b4. With approximately 3,500 tickets left unsold for the nov. 19 Grey cup game at Canad inns stadium some folks in bom Berville Are hoping the Arch rival Saskatchewan roughriders Advance to the big game because that would draw Saskatchewan fans to Winnipeg for the game. Asking for a cigarette nearly proved fatal for a Winnipeg Man who suffered a vicious beating in a Case of mistaken identity court heard monday. The University of Manitoba released further details yesterday about How it will spend a $22-million us award from the United states Agency for International development for a Public education program about his aids infection in Rural India. A Manitoba organization Keystone agricultural producers received a National award tuesday for a Pilot project that encourages Farmers to take better care of the environment. Peter Kotyk will take his seat on River East Transcona school Board this evening ? Uncertain if he will face a recount Challenge. Kotyk Defeated fellow incumbent Lori Chrol by Only two votes in the oct. 25 municipal election. The lawyer for a first nation appealing a court Deci Sion requiring Manitoba a smoking ban to be enforced on reserves has warned Federal Indian affairs minister Jim Prentice not to make any further comments about the Case. For full stories please go to top news a3,5 . Mid terms a4 tax Saviour a6,7 Manitoba a8 Canada a10,11,12 world a13,16 letters to the editor a14 View from the West a15 City b1,2,3 business b4 sports c1 family notices c10 classified c12 Jumble c14 weather c16 entertainment d1 movies d2 ask Rhona d2 to d4 Horoscope d8 comics d6 diversions d7. Columnists John Harvard a15 Samuel Segev Lindor Reynolds de Tait Randy Turner Tim Campbell Brad Oswald Linda Silkowski a15 b1 c1 c1 c5 d3 d5 deaths Allen Marjorie marj94. Bard Rose Marie Lucille wife of Robert. Remaud Julien Eugene 63, husband of Marie Ange. Bybel Stefan husband of Mela Nia. Chan Shuk Hong 76, husband of Joan. Cornous Edward Gerald 75. Deighton Howard or. Dick Rudolph husband of Olly. Dri Kunevicius Jonas. Fucker Terri. Gauer Elsie Lydia. Gray Stewart Mcmillan. Harder be Wieb Kathryn pick 3 winning number yesterday was 520. Extra winning number yesterday for top prize of $250,000 was 1497037. How to reach us Winnipeg free press 1355 Mountain Avenue Winnipeg Manitoba r2x 3b6 switchboard 697-7000 privacy policy & questions /inf of privacy Reader service City delivery 697-7001 Canada Post sales agreement no. 0563595 recycled newsprint is used in the production of this newspaper. Please Recycle. 88. Harris Ralph Franklin 84. Hiebert be Moquin Lucille 66 of Selkirk my. Hrabowy Steffie. Jenkins William 77, widower of Doreen. Konarski de 86, husband of Anne. Kozubiak Nicholas nick83, husband of Mary. Lench Carole Alice husband of Donald Lench. Lucky Alexander 75, of Grande Prairie a husband of Reine. Madill Jean 100. Moscovitch Anna 81, wife of Edward. Muzyka Dora 90. Negrey be Curta Lorraine wife of Edward. Enka Mike 72, of Sioux look out on husband of Helen. Obirek Allan Edward 75, of Highland Glen. Parfenick Edward bbl me . Parsons be Forti Njean Nette 82, widow of Henry. Pilous Patricia Margaret. Rittberg Rena wife of David. Rosin Edwin 75, husband of Muriel. Sawatsky Peter 80, husband of Elfriede. Straiton be Harme Dorothy Ellen. Tapp Rose 57. Wilson Ida. Wilson Stephen w., 98. Wilson William Stanley 91. Yarish Evelyn. . Classified death notices c10 lotteries in the event of a discrepancy Between this list and the offi Cial winning numbers the lat Ter shall prevail ;