Winnipeg Free Press

Winnipeg Free Press (Newspaper) - August 28, 2008, Winnipeg, Manitoba C m y k Page a2 a 2 thursday August 28, 2008 Winnipeg repress. Com Only in selected areas. See in store for Complete details. Look for our flyer in tomorrows paper unreserved Bailiff auction Sale sold in bloc lot of Madam inc. Of a Mea fashions unit 10& 12 1865 Sargent ave. Friday August 29th at 11 00am having received instructions from Central collection services Ltd. On behalf of the landlord we will sell the following in bloc lot terms Cash interact visa or Mastercard paid in full at time of Sale. Subject to additions & deletions everything sold As is where is. With no warranties implied or expressed Kayes auction 668 0183 wow. Kaye auctions. Com new Stock & inventory of accessories purses Etc. Nearly new $ 1,100 geriatric & tilt chairs geriatric & tilt chairs 666 St. James St. 774 6322 new $ 3,000 Gimli fish 1604 St. Maryus re. 256 3474 625 Pembina Hwy. 477 6831 596 Dufferin ave. 589 3474 fresh mussels Frozen Pickerel smoked Gold Eye i was sitting in my Little office cubicle the other Day thinking about sex. But it a snot my fault. It was around noon and being a typical crusading journalist i was originally thinking about lunch. At least until the phone rang. There was a to mans voice on the other end of the line. If you want to get technical i assume there was probably an entire woman on the other end of the line but i think you get my general Drift she sounded exactly like my first Grade teacher. Hello is what i said. As a prominent local personality i am a naturally gifted conversationalist hello said the to mans voice then she got right to the Point you must be very Good in bed you will be surprised but i had to think about this for a second. Well i said us i kind of like to think. Before i could utter a Complete thought the woman let the other shoe drop. Because if you we rent she declared your wife would probably leave you in a heartbeat a a a is what i recall saying relying on my rapier like wit. The woman then launched into a lengthy but extremely polite lecture in which she made the Central Point that i was an idiot. In Hindsight she probably was my first Grade teacher As evidence she cited a recent column in which i had pretty much made the same Central Point. The column described two recent incidents in which i a almost burned Down a Neighbours Home during a dinner party when i tried to Light a Candle using a paper Napkin id ignited with another Candle and b almost burned Down a friends cottage when my attempt to make Beer can Chicken turned into a re enactment of the Hindenburg disaster. How could you be so stupid the woman caller wanted to know. Us i said. I honed these witty comebacks during a stint on my High school debating team if i were your wife id have left you a Long time ago she explained. She then wanted to make sure that i had Learned my lesson i did and that i would never Ever do anything so stupid again i wont. Or at least i wont write about it. I sensed we were becoming friends. Well i just Hope you really appreciate your wife she said before hanging up. She must be a Saint. And the next stupid thing i did was decide that i should Tell my wife All about this insightful Telephone conversation. I planned to do this As soon As i got Home but the moment i walked in the door my wife decided to give me a pop quiz. She called me into the dining room. Then she folded her arms and gave me a sort of curious look. Then she tapped her toe. Note to other husbands these Are not Good signs finally looking exasperated she asked Well what do you think i began to sweat profusely. Clearly i was supposed to notice something. As i May have mentioned earlier i am very Quick on my feet of i told my wife. Wow your hair looks great my wife groaned. No she snorted. Then she walked Over to the Light switch and flicked it on apparently to illuminate whatever i was supposed to see. What do you think frantically i began looking around desperately trying to spot something in the dining room that was of critical importance to my wife. Hey i spluttered that dress looks really Nice on you i believe my wife then used her eyes to shoot laser beams at me because i could feel my face getting very warm. No she barked. Then she flicked the Light switch about half a dozen times. Do you notice something new she thundered. As a professional journalist i am a trained observer. So naturally i did not see a thing. I glanced at the dogs for help but their expressions made it Clear i was on my own. My wife take it any More. We have a new chandelier she groaned giving the Light switch a few extra flicks. Out of journalistic fairness i will mention this new Light fixture was easily the size of an olympic weightlifter and was dangling approximately two feet in front of my nose. Nice i said to my wife nodding my head vigorously. You Are such an idiot my wife sighed. Which suddenly reminded me of the phone Call id gotten earlier in the Day. So i told my wife what the woman Whord sounded like my first Grade teacher had to say about me being a Blockhead and being Lucky to have such a tolerant wife. Thatus funny my wife said smiling. Because she thought i was an idiot i asked. No my wife sniffed because she thought you were Good in bed. On the upside at least ism starting to see the Light. Doug. Speirs free press. My. Ca blogs Winnipeg repress. 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Phil Hossack / Winnipeg free press suspicious package inspected a City firefighter readies himself As hers strapped into a Haz mat suit. Police closed Dunkirk drive Between St. Vital Road and Fermor Avenue at around 4 30 p. M. Wednesday after a suspicious package was reported in a Lane off Dunkirk. The bomb disposal unit rendered the briefcase sized package Safe but police have not determined what it contained a police spokesperson said. A 02_ aug 28 08. Ind a2 8/ 27/ 08 9 38 23 pm ;