Winnipeg Free Press

Winnipeg Free Press (Newspaper) - October 12, 2008, Winnipeg, Manitoba C m y k Page 1 fixed election dates we dont need no stinking fixed dates Campaign 2008 started off unceremoniously As prime minister Stephen Harper did exactly what he said head do for weeks Call an election on sept. 7. Opposition leaders cried foul noting the conservatives had brought in fixed Date legislation that would make it impossible for politicians to seize opportune moments to Call elections. In the tories defence there really was no Inopportune time to run against a Liberal party led by Stephane Dion. But we were just getting to know Kandahar in a Clever move designed to take the War with the Taliban out of the election equation Harper took his opponents by Surprise by promising to pull Canadian troops out of Afghanistan in 2011. The announcement which came Only three Days into the Campaign amounted to a preemptive strike against Dion and nip Leader Jack Layton who were planning to use the unpopular War to lambaste the conservatives. This was the last bit of intelligent strategy to emerge before Campaign 2008 took a turn for the absurd. Thanks for the endorsement brother before the tories had a Chance to clean up the Atlantic Puffin guano More flak started flying their Way from the maritime. Danny Williams the conservative Premier of Newfoundland and Labrador took a strip off Harper in a Public speech claiming a tory majority would be a disaster for Canada. Theress no word whether Williams comments had much of an effect where most of his constituents live 6,000 Kilometres to the West in fort Mcmurray Alta. Gaffe o Rama if anything Campaign 2008 will be remembered for the shocking number of candidates and Campaign staffers who were forced to resign or apologize for stupid moves in the past or present. A tory Flack apologized for criticizing the father of a dead Canadian Soldier. Conservative agriculture minister Gerry Ritz apologized for joking about Lister Osis deaths. Campaigners for tory transportation minister Lawrence Cannon apologized for questioning the sobriety of first nations protesters. B. C. Nip candidate Julian West resigned for taking his clothes off in front of kids 12 years ago. Calgary tory candidate Lee Richardson expressed regret for suggesting immigrants cause crime. Toronto nip candidate Andrew Mckeever apologized for being a Facebook bully. Winnipeg Liberal candidate Lesley Hughes see below was turfed for 9/ 11 conspiracy writings. Another tory staffer resigned for plagiarizing a speech. Even the most cynical reporter could not have predicted this level of incompetence. A May october Romance a few nanoseconds after canadians of All political stripes helped Elizabeth May win a place at the televised leaders debates the Green party Leader mused about getting out of Liberal Leader Dionys Way in his own Riding. Bravo canadians theress nothing better for democracy than a Little undemocratic behaviour. In other news snakes dislike mongooses after taking his lumps from artists upset about Federal funding cuts for two solid weeks Harper broke Down and suggested some members of the cultural elite Are spoiled brats. Actors responded the next Day by lambasting the conservative Leader. Wow who would have guessed Canadian artists and Federal tories would fail to share a world View Hughes on first More Likely third or fourth in the weirdest Winnipeg related Story of the election a bizarre bit of 9/ 11 conspiracy ranting forced Dion to sack Lesley Hughes the Liberal candidate in Kildonan st. Paul. In the face of anti semitism accusations Hughes vowed to Soldier on As her name will remain on the ballot As a Liberal candidate. The inability of party organizers to use Google suddenly emerged As a Campaign Issue. Like All you have to do is hit enter. When Steffie met Jackie late in september As the Prospect of a conservative majority began to fade the liberals and nip floated the notion of forming a coalition to defeat Harper. Yet again theress noting better for democracy than a Little undemocratic behaviour. Dude its in the bag a seconds after the coalition talk subsided Jack Layton began speaking As if the nip was poised to win the election and he was about to become prime minister. In related news Iraq once again claimed Victory in the 1990 91 persian Gulf War. Cage match no. 1 in the French language leaders debate on oct. 1, Dion Layton May and bloc Qutb Cois Leader Gilles Dueppe All took turns bashing Harper in a desperate attempt to Chip away at the tory Lead. May struggled in fran Ais and Harper took a beating but afterwards All five leaders claimed Victory. Cage match no. 2 the following night in English Harper once again wore the bulls Eye in a five Leader Melee that saw Layton grow even bolder. You say youve got a plan. Where is it under your sweater the nip Leader sniped at a disturbingly Serene prime minister. Afterwards u. S. Senator Joe Biden and Alaska gov. Sarah Palin both claimed Victory. Its the stupid Economy stupid for the first time during the Campaign Dion appeared to do something right Post debate polls suggested the Liberal Leader actually dealt damage to the conservatives by questioning harpers response to the global economic crisis. Dion responded by naming his new dog thirty Days of meetings. And Bernier keeps on burning now just in Case there we rent enough distractions during Campaign 2008, Canadas most infamous sex Girlfriend emerged in the waning weeks of the election to create More pain for conservative Maxime Bernier. Julie Couillard the woman who Cost Bernier his foreign affairs gig authored a Tell All Tome about her relationship with the Guy who just seem to keep his hands on his documents. Yes a nation on the Cusp of choosing its next government has spent the past month enthralled by a spurned sex Lover a cartoon seabird and a Parade of questionable candidates with entire palaeontology exhibits in their closets. Heres hoping the Quality of Public discourse improves in 2009 or 2010, when we head Back to the polls for the fourth time in five or six years. Bartley. Kives free press. My. Ca i t was supposed to be a Campaign about big ideas like the environment the Economy and an unpopular overseas War. But after a month of Kooky candidate gaffes and questionable Campaign office mistakes the 2008 Federal election has descended into a murky morass of Mutual recriminations that have All but completely overshadowed actual policy announcements. With Only Days to go before canadians vote its Worth a look to see what has transpired if Only because nobody will Ever want to remember this election Campaign once the final vote is tallied on tuesday night. Heres what weave endured so far Winnipeg repress. Com perspective Winnipeg free press sunday october 12, 2008 b3 Good news its nearly Over Campaign 2008 was a race to forget by Bartley Kives Federal election guide Puffin poop and Juicy fruit the first sign 2008 would not be a Banner year for intellectual debate came when a tory website depicted a seabird engaging in a Fly by defecation on Liberal Leader Stephane Dion. The second sign arrived when Harper came to Winnipeg and announced he would be prefer to be a fruit and not a vegetable. Sure a reporter came up with the idiotic question. But it was a sign of More election inanity to come. And while a Glassy eyed nation watched the televised debate Jack demanded to know what Stephen had under the sweater. Julie Couillard worried the tories with her Tell All about a Boyfriend Maxime Bernier. Turns out they have fretted nobody cares. Elizabeth took the train smaller Carbon footprint he while Stephane get his Green shift off the ground. A 03_ oct 12 08. Ind 1 10/ 11/ 08 6 12 31 pm ;