Winnipeg Free Press

Winnipeg Free Press (Newspaper) - July 23, 2015, Winnipeg, Manitoba C M Y K PAGE 2 WINNIPEG FREE PRESS 1355 Mountain Avenue Winnipeg, Manitoba, R2X 3B6 Privacy policy and questions www. winnipegfreepress. com/ privacy. html CIRCULATION INQUIRIES MISSING OR INCOMPLETE PAPER? Call or email before 11 a. m. weekdays or noon Saturday City / 204- 697- 7001 Outside Winnipeg / 1- 800- 542- 8900 press 1 6: 30 a. m. - 5 p. m. M- F. 7 a. m. - noon Saturday Closed Sunday fpcirc@ freepress. mb. ca TO SUBSCRIBE - 204- 697- 7001 Out of Winnipeg - 1- 800- 542- 8900 ADVERTISING Classified ( M- F) - 204- 697- 7100 wfpclass@ freepress. mb. ca Obituaries ( Sun- Fri) - 204- 697- 7384 Display Advertising - 204- 697- 7122 FP. 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COM READER SERVICE / GENERAL INQUIRIES 204- 697- 7000 �� A2 THURSDAY, JULY 23, 2015 winnipegfreepress. com Monday - Friday 10am- 9pm, Saturday 10pm- 6pm, Sunday 12pm- 5pm LORENZA FASHION Grant Park Shopping Centre Across from the Theatre . 204- 415- 6270 20% OFFJEANS Not Your Daughter's Jeans Available regular 0- 18 petite 0P- 16P Simon Chang Jeans Available regular 2- 18 petite 2P- 14P French Dressing Jeans Available regular 2- 18 petite 2P- 18P . available in black & blue . straight leg, boot cut & legging . available in black & blue . straight leg & boot cut . available in black & blue . straight leg, boot cut & legging 25% - 50% OFF On Selected Summer Items BLOWOUT! Jag Jeans 50% OFF SELECTED Not Your Daughter's Jeans 50% OFF Business B 6 Canada / world A 9,12- 14 Classified D 8 Comics C 11 Diversions C 6 Horoscope B 5 Jumble D 8 Letters to the Editor A 10 Miss Lonelyhearts C 2 Movies C 13 Sports D 1 TV B 4 Uptown C 1 Weather B 8 . OBITUARIES D 7 . COLUMNISTS Martin Cash B 6 Harold Jantz A 11 Bartley Kives A 5 Dan Lett A 7 Shaun Loney A 11 Shannon Sampert A 11 Jen Zoratti B 3 Lottery numbers were not available at press time due to a change in policy by Western Canada Lottery Corp. to extend lotto- ticket sales by 90 minutes. INSIDE A man found dead inside a burnedout home Monday in the 600 block of Pritchard Avenue has been identified as Justin Harvey Chezick, 42, of Winnipeg. Winnipeg police are treating the death as suspicious, and homicide detectives are investigating. Fire crews arrived at the home at approximately 7: 30 a. m. Monday and knocked down a blaze, discovering two dead pets inside. Later, a man's body was found inside the home. Winnipeg Police Service spokesman Const. Jason Michalyshen said Tuesday the circumstances surrounding the death are suspicious. " Based on our initial assessment of the deceased at this time, we do have concerns with respect to... what the cause of death might be. At this point, we're clearly identifying that foul play is suspected here," he said. Anyone with information that could help the investigation is asked to call investigators at 204- 986- 6508 or Crime Stoppers at 204- 786- TIPS ( 8477). - staff Note to sensitive readers: If you are easily offended by the word " poop," I suggest you skip today's column and flip to something more edifying, such as the comics. E VERY once in a while, no matter how carefully you plan, no matter what safety precautions you take, you will find yourself, through no fault of your own, in a completely untenable situation. That is precisely what happened the other day when my wife drove to Saskatoon to pick up our daughter, who had just wrapped up her summer job, and left me home alone to keep a watchful eye on our two dogs, both of which have brains the size of Fig Newtons. Even though I was on my own, I bravely decided to take our small white dog, the one I have nicknamed " Mr. X," for a leisurely stroll around our neighbourhood to exercise the knee he had surgically repaired after blowing out a ligament while being chased around the dining room table by my son, who probably should have known better. The walk was largely uneventful until we turned the corner at the top of our block and started heading for home, which is when Mr. X began lagging behind and became something of a dead weight at the end of his bright- red leash. That is when I grouchily turned around and spotted my pugnacious pup in the power position, hunkered down so he could leave a large doggie deposit - I will now activate the caps- lock feature of my keyboard for emphasis - IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ( BAD WORD) ROAD. That is just the kind of incorrigible canine Mr. X is. He gives the impression of being a harmless, cute dog, but he also has no qualms about defiantly pooping in the middle of the road, in full view of our always- alert neighbours. Normally, this would not have been a major issue, but it was at this exact moment I realized I did NOT have a poop bag, one of those handy, biodegradable plastic bags you get for free from strategically stationed dispensers in local parks. Typically, I never leave the house without a poop bag because my wife is always there to remind me, but, as I have already mentioned, she had left me to my own devices. So I looked at Mr. X, and he looked at me. " I'd pick it up myself but I don't have opposable thumbs," was the clear telepathic message my pint- sized pet sent me. I will take a moment here to point out I am an intensely responsible pet owner. When we are out walking the dogs and I spot an pile of poop along our route, I will turn to my wife and snarl: " Look, dear! Some ( bad word) jackwagon did not pick up after their ( bad word) pet!" So leaving Mr. X's unwanted gift in the middle of the road was not an option. Given where we live, it is entirely possible a wide range of neighbours was peeking out from behind their curtains to see whether I would do the " right thing" or leave the formerly pristine roadway flagrantly fouled. It was at this moment I spotted a large stick from a nearby tree that fallen into the street. An idea began to take root in my mind. As you have already deduced, I seized the stick and - just like a kid at a summer camp weenie roast - tried to impale the poop as though it was a hotdog. Look, I apologize for sharing these graphic details, but I am telling the absolute truth, because it is entirely possible some of you might one day find yourselves in a similar pet- related pickle. As it turns out, the poop- on- a- stick plan was an abject failure. Holding the fragrant stick as far from my body as humanly possible, I would take several halting steps and then - PLOP! - my best intentions would hit the road, so to speak. I soon spotted another fallen tree branch festooned with leaves, which triggered another light bulb inside my panicked brain. As Mr. X looked on in canine confusion, I plucked about a dozen of the leaves and, as though wrapping the most foul Christmas present imaginable, used them to carefully conceal the " gift" my dog had planted in the middle of the street. And so, with Mr. X's leash in one hand and a leaf- wrapped bundle of toxic waste balanced in the other, we made a break for the safety of our house. We would have made it, too, except one of my neighbours, who had just finished mowing his lawn, seized on this moment to wave us over to offer a cheery greeting. " Hey, how's it going, Doug?" he chirped. It was impossible for me to wave back, so I smiled and said: " Well, my wife is away, so I'm kind of on my own right now." My neighbour chuckled a manly chuckle. " Busy?" he asked. " Yeah," I sniffed, waddling away in a casual manner. " You might say I've got my hands full." doug. speirs@ freepress. mb. ca Big to- do over my dog's doo Watching two pooches while wife's away a messy position In the Doug House Doug Speirs LOTTERIES MIKE APORIUS / WINNIPEG FREE PRESS Victim found after fire ID'd A_ 02_ Jul- 23- 15_ FP_ 01. indd A2 7/ 22/ 15 10: 22: 01 PM ;