Winnipeg Free Press

Winnipeg Free Press (Newspaper) - July 25, 2015, Winnipeg, Manitoba C M Y K PAGE A2 A 2 SATURDAY, JULY 25, 2015 winnipegfreepress. com EXCLUSIVE TO VICKAR! 964 REGENT AVE. W. SPECIAL SALES HOTLINE 1- 800- 616- 6551 OPEN 24 HOURS www . vickarchevrolet. ca ( Including Winnipeg) FOR ADDITIONAL SAVINGS OVER AND ABOVE WHAT YOU SEE! " LIKE" US ON & FOLLOW US ON VOLU M E DEALER IN C A NAD A # 1 2 01 2 & 20 1 4 FC7455 2015 Chevy Camaro LT Not the Camaro everyone else is advertising! Full power group, 19" wheels, touch screen radio, Bluetooth with audio streaming, power seats, fog lights, sunroof and premium sound! CASH PRICE o lig CAS Dealer Permit # 9714 1 Available Power door locks, power windows, keyless entry, Bluetooth, steering wheel audio controls HURRY IN FOR BEST SELECTION! Starting at 2015 CHEVY CRUZE St STK .# FC8 514 WIFI ENABLED VEHICLE $ 14,490 **$ 49 ** / wk CASH PRICE 1 Available 2015 Chevy Trax What a Deal! 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Malibu lease payment at 1.5% over 60mo term, km allowance 100,000kms, mileage charge of $ 0.16/ km over. $ 30,988 **$ 94 ** / wk CASH PRICE 2.99 % for 84 mo B L O W O UT D E A L ! 1 Available Over 390 Brand New Silverados available! 2 015 CHEVY SILVERADO CREW CAB 4X4 $ TOUCH CONTROL 4X4! Tinted glass, carpet, Bluetooth, full pwr group, WiFi, LED lights, locking differential, keyless entry, heated mirrors. WIFI ENABLED VEHICLE oup , STK.# FT6787 0 % for 84 mo. 3 3 3 9 3 0 WINNIPEG FREE PRESS 1355 Mountain Avenue Winnipeg, Manitoba, R2X 3B6 Privacy policy and questions www. winnipegfreepress. com/ privacy. html CIRCULATION INQUIRIES MISSING OR INCOMPLETE PAPER? Call or email before 11 a. m. weekdays or noon Saturday City / 204- 697- 7001 Outside Winnipeg / 1- 800- 542- 8900 press 1 6: 30 a. m. - 5 p. m. 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COM READER SERVICE / GENERAL INQUIRIES 204- 697- 7000 �� Arts & Life E 1 Business B 6 Books D 21 Careers B 14 Classified C 14 Comics E 9, F 9- 12 Community Voices A 16 Diversions D 19,20 Editorials A 14 49.8 D 1 Horoscope E 4 Homes G 1 Jumble C 15 Letters to the Editor A 14 Miss Lonelyhearts E 4 Movies E 8 Sports C 1 Travel F 1 TV C 16 Weather C 17 . OBITUARIES A 31 Lottery numbers were not available at press time due to a change in policy by Western Canada Lottery Corp. to extend lotto- ticket sales by 90 minutes. CANADA POST SALES AGREEMENT NO. 0563595 Recycled newsprint is used in the production of the newspaper. Please recycle. LOTTERIES INSIDE E VEN if you've never been to Mulberry Street or Whoville, you'll be thrilled to hear a new book by Dr. Seuss is set to hit shelves more than two decades after the death of the legendary children's author and illustrator. The book, What Pet Should I Get? , is based on manuscripts and illustrations found in a box ( No, they did not find them with a fox) donated to the University of California, San Diego. According to a gaggle of breathless news reports, What Pet Should I Get? features the famous siblings from Dr. Seuss's One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish and follows the brother and sister as they are overwhelmed with choice at a pet store. The truth is, when I was a little kid, nothing was more exciting than getting my greasy little mitts on a brand- new Dr. Seuss book. Theodor Seuss Geisel and his cockamamie creatures taught me to love reading. Tragically, it's been 24 years since the world has been treated to his special brand of Seussian silliness, which is why, with sincere apologies to the good doctor, today's column is... well... it's this: If I Ran Winnipeg If I ran Winnipeg I know what I'd do I'd free all the polar bears That live at the zoo They'd march through the park All the way to my house Where they'd live in the basement And dine on roast mouse They'd swim in our pool Or just do as they please At least until our neighbours Called the police Then I'd make the Blue Bombers Both bigger and quicker I'd teach them cool plays Like the sneak and flea- flicker Next, I'd outlaw mosquitoes Yes, I'd make them illegal And once I'd done that I'd bring back Milt Stegall Forget shovelling snow Thanks to the threat of angina I'd contract that work to our friends in Regina I'd treat our beloved Jets to roast turkey with stuffin' And offer second helpings to Trouba and Byfuglien With a giant steamroller I'd smooth our bad roads So we don't bounce around like jumped- up cane toads Our summers are fine So I'll leave them alone But for no extra charge You'll get two scoops on your cone Our obnoxious city councillors And aloof city planners We'll send them to charm school To learn a few manners But the mayor's a nice guy So I'd lay off poor Brian Unless he raises our taxes And leaves everyone cryin' At stores you won't pay An arm and a leg It's wholesale for all! That's how we roll in the ' Peg The Golden Boy shines He's part of our crew But I'm declaring a holiday For a chubby bear named Pooh Harlequin Romances? They started right here They've done more for love Than ( bad word) flowers and beer A giant dome I would build Over everyone's heads But I'd let in some snow For the toboggans and sleds I might even ban junk food Because you really can't beat us for burgers and Slurpees And Type 2 diabetes No more rain at Folk Fest Turning dirt into mud Covering your trendy man skirt With layers of crud No more flooding in spring To get us down in the dumps As your leader I promise Tax- free sump pumps And I'd take all the tourists to our new rights museum And Fred Penner concerts Cuz they're dying to see him We'll be proud of our name " Winnipeg" we'll hold onto It rolls off the tongue Not like ( bad word) Toronto If I ran Winnipeg These things I would do Like green eggs and ham They're a bit hard to chew Most of all, we'll read Seuss We'll do that ALL the time Because unlike today's column That doctor can rhyme! - Doctor Doug doug. speirs@ freepress. mb. ca In the Doug House Doug Speirs Tribute to Seuss as new book due THE CANADIAN PRESS What Pet Should I Get by Dr. Seuss. A_ 02_ Jul- 25- 15_ FP_ 01. indd A2 7/ 24/ 15 10: 38: 46 PM ;