Winnipeg Free Press

Winnipeg Free Press (Newspaper) - July 30, 2015, Winnipeg, Manitoba C M Y K PAGE A2 A 2 THURSDAY, JULY 30, 2015 winnipegfreepress. com WE'RE THERE FOR YOU COMMUNITY PROFILE SMD staff and volunteers at the Safeway in Thompson, MB. The SMD Foundation canoe went for a trip around ' Lake Safeway' every time the Kenaston store received $ 50 in donations on June 27th. SMD volunteer, Allie Onslow, on Focus Day with Safeway staff at the Osborne & Kylemore store. SMD Foundation/ Easter Seals T Manitoba Ambassador, Mitchell Potter ( left), celebrates the funds raised from the 2015 Safeway Campaign with Safeway staff and management. Despite the rain, Safeway staff at 1612 Ness Ave. put on a great BBQ in support of SMD Foundation/ Easter Seals T Manitoba. SMD volunteers and Power Wheelchair Hockey players, Michael Mifflin and Peter Herget, hand out information about the Safeway Campaign at 1319 Pembina Hwy. 2015 Safeway Campaign June 12 - June 28, 2015 This year's joint Safeway Campaign raised $ 544,562 nationwide for Easter Seals T Canada and Muscular Dystrophy Canada! In Manitoba, $ 41,352 was raised in support of SMD Foundation/ Easter Seals T Manitoba! This year, when Safeway shoppers made a donation at their local stores, their dollars supported ' Children & Youth Recreation and Leisure' programs focusing on active living, participation, and nutritional cooking/ eating within our day/ overnight camps. A special thank you to all of the Safeway Canada managers and employees, not only for their hard work and continuous support during this campaign, but for welcoming SMD staff and volunteers into their stores on our Focus Weekend to spread awareness and help feed ability. Since 2008, Safeway has raised over $ 1 million in support of children and youth with disabilities in Manitoba. THANK YOU SAFEWAY AND EVERYONE THAT DONATED DURING THE CAMPAIGN! YOUR GENEROSITY AND SUPPORT WILL HELP MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN THE LIVES OF CHILDREN AND YOUTH WITH DISABILITIES IN MANITOBA! Business B 6 City B 1 Classified D 8 Comics C 13 Diversions C 11 Editorials A 8 Horoscope B 4 Jumble D 8 Letters to the Editor A 8 Miss Lonelyhearts C 2 Movies C 15 Sports D 1 TV B 4 Uptown C 1 Weather B 8 . OBITUARIES D 7 . COLUMNISTS Livio Di Matteo A 9 Gwynne Dyer A 9 Shannon Sampert A 9 Gordon Sinclair Jr. B 1 Gary Lawless D 1 Lottery numbers were not available at press time due to a change in policy by Western Canada Lottery Corp. to extend lotto- ticket sales by 90 minutes. CANADA POST SALES AGREEMENT NO. 0563595 Recycled newsprint is used in the production of the newspaper. Please recycle. 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Advertising@ freepress. mb. ca EDITORIAL Newsroom 204- 697- 7301 News tip 204- 697- 7292 Fax 204- 697- 7412 Photo desk 204- 697- 7304 Sports desk 204- 697- 7285 Business news 204- 697- 7301 PHOTO REPRINTS - 204- 697- 7063 City desk / City. desk@ freepress. mb. ca Letters to the editor / Letters@ freepress. mb. ca WATCH: Bombers prepare for tilt with B. C. TODAY ON . com READER SERVICE / GENERAL INQUIRIES 204- 697- 7000 When it was my turn to pay, I whipped out my Air Miles card, and the pleasant cashier looked me square in the eye and, in a perky but firm voice, said: " And what about your mortgage, sir?" What about my mortgage? You are going to find this a bit surprising, but I had not anticipated being asked about the status of my home loans in the supermarket checkout aisle. So I just sort of stood there for several moments with a blank look on my face, before finally smiling and offering this reply: " A mortgage? Um, no thanks, I've already got one." Which is when the cashier's eyes grew to the size of manhole covers and, after whacking herself on the forehead with one hand, she chirped: " Ohmygawd! I don't know why I said that. I meant to ask for your Air Miles card." I attempted to comfort her, because, thanks to my aging, shrinking brain, I know what it's like to blurt out some totally inappropriate statement that has nothing to do with whatever circumstances you happen to be in. " Ha ha ha," I chuckled, trying to smile in a non- judgmental manner. " It's only a matter of time before that happens." The cashier looked confused. " Before what happens?" she asked. " Before you start selling mortgages along with chocolate chip cookies and family- sized packages of potato chips," I replied. At this, the cashier rolled her eyes and grimaced. " I'm pretty sure I'll be long gone before that happens," she said, snickering as I slowly wandered back to the car with my nutritious snacks. I found this exchange amusing, because I have never thought of mortgages and grocery stores as being two things that were meant to go together, as you can see from this conversation between myself and my wife that I just made up: My wife: " Where are you going, sweetheart?" Me: " Just popping up to the grocery store, because they're having a sale on day- old mortgages." My wife: " Pick up some butter and a few RRSPs, too." I know it's different in the United States. If you have ever found yourself in a supermarket in the U. S., you know you can lay your sweaty hands on pretty much anything your heart desires, including handguns, fireworks, barrels of alcohol, guard dogs, tacos, tropical fish, 3,000 kinds of Mountain Dew and loans that are larger than the national debt of a developing nation. Me: " Excuse me, where do you keep your mortgages?" U. S. grocery store clerk: " They're in Aisle 9, right between mandrake root and motor oil." The odd thing is, I really enjoy my almost daily trips to the local grocery store. Everyone smiles, and I can load up my cart with all kinds of yummy stuff, including, if I so desired, leafy green vegetables. The best thing is I do not have to think about mortgages. I have a mortgage. When I do think of it, I imagine it as being like a giant sucking black hole into which my wife and I fling piles of money, but the ( very bad word) hole never gets any smaller. I know for a fact I have a mortgage because of two key factors, namely ( 1 ) my wife constantly reminds me we have a mortgage and that it is bigger than Donald Trump's ego; and ( 2 ) whenever I drive or walk by a bank, all the bankers line up at the window, point at me, then begin laughing that menacing - " MWUHAHAHAHAHA!!!" - mad scientiststyle laugh. The people who sell mortgages tend to have a bit of a dark reputation. I know that because, while researching this column, I found a long list of grim mortgage jokes like this gem: Q: What do you have when 100 mortgage brokers are buried up to their necks in sand? A: Not enough sand! Ha ha ha! Sorry! If you happen to be the banker who oversees my mortgage payments, I would like to stress here I did not find that joke amusing in the slightest and only presented it here to highlight how cruel some cold- hearted bank clients can be. The other thing I found out via randomly Googling things is that - and you might want to sit down before reading this next bit - it is already possible to apply for a mortgage through the financial services branch of a local supermarket chain. Who knew? I can't help but wonder how the banks feel about this development. I cannot speak for our nation's generous banks and credit unions, but I think they might want to fight back. For starters, they could try selling chocolate milk. doug. speirs@ freepress. mb. ca Do mortgages, supermarkets mix? Checkout worker's slip of tongue hints at fascinating possibility In the Doug House Doug Speirs B EFORE settling down to write another informative and educational column the other day, I hopped in the car and drove to a nearby grocery store to buy some nutritious food items. After loading my basket with chocolate milk, mango- flavoured lemonade, miniature doughnuts and an industrial- sized Snickers bar, I stood in the checkout line, solemnly pondering the impact these purchases would have on my blood- sugar level. A_ 04_ Jul- 30- 15_ FP_ 01. indd A2 7/ 29/ 15 10: 25: 52 PM ;