Winnipeg Free Press

Winnipeg Free Press (Newspaper) - August 02, 2015, Winnipeg, Manitoba C M Y K PAGE A15 winnipegfreepress. com LIFE / TECH WINNIPEG FREE PRESS, SUNDAY, AUGUST 2, 2015 A 15 Concerts Rise Against Burton Cummings Theatre, 6: 30 p. m. With Killswitch Engage and Letlive. Tickets $ 52.50 at Ticketmaster. Theatre Modern Family Vacation Celebrations Dinner Theatre, 5 p. m. Tickets $ 30.95-$ 59.95 at 204- 982- 8282. Out and About Great Train Robbery: Cowboys ' n Gals Prairie Dog Central, 11 a. m. Tickets $ 23.95 and $ 31.95 at 204- 832- 5259. Folklorama Various pavilions. Tickets $ 6 per pavilion, fun packs $ 25 and $ 54 at folklorama. ca. Farmers' Market The Forks plaza parking lot, 11 a. m. - 4 p. m. Salsa Sundays The Forks, under the canopy, 7- 10 p. m. Sunday Night Smooth Jazz Lyric Theatre, Assiniboine Park, 7 p. m. with Marc Antoine. Cruise Night Pony Corral Grant Park, every Sunday to Sept. 27. Islendingadagurinn: Icelandic Festival of Manitoba Gimli, to Aug. 3., www. icelandicfestival. com. Pioneer Days Mennonite Heritage Village, 10 a. m. - 6 p. m. Admission $ 10. Rockin' the Fields of Minnedosa Lake Minnedosa. Day pass $ 60 at 1- 888- 330- 8333. Harbourfest Kenora Ontario. Info at www. harbourfest. ca. Nightclubs King's Head Pub & Eatery ( 120 King St.): All the King's Men Marion Hotel ( 393 Marion St.): Geoff Erickson Palm Lounge ( Fort Garry Hotel): Mark Harrell Shannon's Irish Pub ( 175 Carlton St.): Celtic Jam with Dale Brown Times Change( d) High & Lonesome Club ( 234 Main St.) Jam hosted by Big Dave McLean THE LINEUP MISS LONELYHEARTS Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I'm a 72- year- old man with a 54- year- old wife. We were out at dinner last night and somebody asked her to introduce them to her dad, meaning me. She laughed and said, " Oh this is my husband," and the people giggled and apologized. I was so embarrassed. This morning I ran down to the pharmacy and bought some dark- brown hair dye to cover my grey hair. I had never coloured my hair before by myself and didn't know it would come out a different colour. It looks terrible and my wife thinks it's funny. I think she's being mean, but I guess I look pretty stupid. I'm not her daddy, and I don't want anyone to think I am. What should I do? - Horrible Hair, Crescentwood Dear Horrible: Get yourself to an expert haircolourist immediately and tell him or her it's an emergency hair rescue. People love to think they are saving someone! The colourist will know which combination of shades to put in your hair to make it look normal, and maybe suggest you get your hair cut a little shorter so the coloured hair is subtler. Get your wife to find a colourist and stylist with a great reputation and pay the price. Women tend to know this stuff from the grapevine. Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I've lost a lot of weight, but I'm sad and embarrassed about my hangdog face and the droopy way my bottom looks. I want a butt- lift and a facelift and have the money to pay for both from my mother, who died a few years ago. It's my inheritance to spend, and yet my husband has an eye on it. He said, " I forbid this foolish surgery. It's a waste." Where did he get language and an attitude like that? From his father, who ruled everyone with an iron fist. I'm determined to do it, not for my husband, but for me. Last night, just before he went to sleep, I asked for his blessing and/ or permission to spend my money, and he said, " Over my dead body!" and laughed a mean laugh. Sometimes I hate him. My girlfriend and I are both planning to have the work done on the same day and hire a nurse to look after us at her cabin. It won't even affect my jerk of a husband. I told him this and he said, " Don't expect any help from me, lady." I don't think I love him anymore. Or am I just angry? - Not Under His Fist, Winnipeg Dear Fist: You're certainly angry. Is it just about the money, or is he worried about you having unnecessary surgery? Ask him outright and watch his face. He may be hiding that he's worried about losing you on the operating table, or he might be worried about you looking hot again. Maybe he thinks if you get this done, it's your licence to leave him. It would be best if you worked out the powerstruggle history and the money issues with a relationship counsellor or psychologist before the surgeries. Your marriage is a source of pain and bitterness right now for both of you. Find out what he has his eye on to buy with the money. Is he interested in a compromise with that money, or are you so fed up you want to spend every dime on yourself? Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@ hotmail. com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/ o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6 Expert stylist will help repair terrible hair Rise Against W HEN having serious conversations about sexual consent, should your smartphone be the third person in the room? The Institute for the Study of Coherence and Emergence, an education organization based in Naples, Fla., has released apps called We- Consent and What About No to help individuals navigate and record consent. Though some say the apps could spark important conversations about sex, others are skeptical recorded video is the right way to do it. Michael Lissack, the institute's Bostonbased executive director, said the apps encourage " affirmative consent" - a standard that requires an unambiguous affirmation from each person before a sexual encounter takes place and throughout the encounter. The standard maintains a partner can withdraw consent at any time. The affirmative- consent movement, which defines itself by " yes means yes" instead of " no means no," made headlines in September 2014 when California passed legislation requiring state- funded colleges and universities to redefine consent by the standard. Lissack said he sees the apps as a way to normalize and spread discussions about consent. What About No went live on Apple's App Store in June; the US$ 5 version records video of a person being told consent has been withdrawn. Lissack said videos are time- stamped, geocoded, encrypted and stored offline. The free version includes video and audio of a policeman stating someone has withdrawn consent, but it does not record video. The We- Consent app records video and audio of two parties giving consent for a sexual encounter. The app isn't available on the App Store but can be downloaded on the institute's website for a US$ 5 yearly membership. Lissack said the institute is working to sell the apps to colleges and universities, which he hopes would be funded by external foundations. The institute said it aims to " facilitate the conversation between academics and practitioners regarding the implications of complexity thinking for the management of organizations." Lissack would not say how many people have downloaded the apps but said the user base spans 22 countries. " If enough people in a given college community ( use the apps), the basic assumption that you're just doing things without talking about them will change," Lissack said. Sean Black, communications co- ordinator at the Springfield- based Illinois Coalition Against Sexual Assault, said having multiple apps to record consent or lack thereof could be tricky. " It seems a bit ludicrous in actual application," he said. " If you're a couple and you're going to be reaching for your phone in the middle of sexual activity, why shouldn't you just be able to say, ' I withdraw consent?' " He added: " Unless you're giving consent through this app every 30 seconds of the sexual activity, I don't know how it can tell if there's consent during the whole time." Black said apps of this sort seem steered at protecting someone who " doesn't respect a change of mind in the middle of sexual activity" and wouldn't take into account whether someone was under the influence of drugs or alcohol or being pressured by a partner. Dr. Michele Kerulis, director of the sport and health psychology program at the Chicago campus of Adler University, said the apps could help spark conversation, but she shared similar concerns. " I think there's such a hookup culture with college kids today... ( some) people have no idea how to initiate and sustain a meaningful relationship," she said. However, Kerulis added, " I don't think there is a one right answer to encouraging young adults - and older adults - to have these conversations." She agreed the giving and taking of consent could prove difficult during sex. " Let's say that somebody is in the middle of a sexual encounter and all of a sudden someone changes his mind - if the partner refuses to stop and move forward, that person may not have the opportunity to grab the phone and push the stop button," she said. The website said the We- Consent app " creates a seven- year encrypted record of a mutual ' yes' available only to law enforcement, upon judicial order, or as evidence in a college or university sexual- assault disciplinary proceeding." " As to whether it ( would) actually be a factor in a legal battle, I have no idea," Lissack said. Chicago- based criminal defence lawyer Andrew Weisberg said he wasn't familiar with the app but said an audio or video of both parties consenting to sex " would be a huge piece of evidence" in the case of a client charged with criminal sexual assault. The possibility of one snapshot of a sexual encounter being used in court concerns Black. " Someone has the right to withdraw consent at any time," he said. " If they withdraw consent in the middle of sex or sexual activity, and the person goes ahead and rapes the victim and said, ' Here's the app, I got consent'... that's not how consent works. You get to take consent back." - Chicago Tribune THE most downloaded movies from iTunes in Canada last week: 1. Chef 2. The Longest Ride 3. Ex Machina 4. Smosh: The Movie 5. Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 6. Get Hard 7. 5 Flights up 8. The Divergent Series: Insurgent 9. Kingsman: The Secret Service 10. The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel - Apple By Meg Graham Apps urge affirmative consent Downloads FOTOLIA / TNS FILES The We- Consent app, which costs US$ 5 per year, records two people giving consent for a sexual encounter. Chef OPEN ROAD FILMS A_ 15_ Aug- 02- 15_ FP_ 01. indd A15 8/ 1/ 15 8: 34: 07 PM ;