Winnipeg Free Press

Winnipeg Free Press (Newspaper) - September 30, 2020, Winnipeg, Manitoba C M Y K PAGE B1 CITY●BUSINESS ASSOCIATE EDITOR NEWS: STACEY THIDRICKSON 204-697-7292 ● CITY.DESK@FREEPRESS.MB.CA ● WINNIPEGFREEPRESS.COM B1 WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 30, 2020 SECTION BCONNECT WITH WINNIPEG’S NO. 1 NEWS SOURCE▼ J ENNY DETHMERS was on her way to pick up her mother when the minivan she was riding in was struck by a pickup truck fleeing from Winnipeg police Saturday afternoon. She was pronounced dead in hospital that day; her partner, stepdaughter and the couple’s baby were all seriously in- jured. The alleged driver of the pickup truck faces multiple criminal charges. Dethmers had spent the morning decorating her house for Halloween. She called her mom, Candy Volk, and told her she was coming to get her, so she could show off her work. It would be the first Halloween for Dethmers’ 10-month-old son, A.J. She was adamant it would be special, even if possible COVID-19 restrictions prevent children from trick-or-treating. That was Jenny. She was creative, and she always went out of her way to make things special for the people she loved. She was helpful and kind, and she spoiled the people closest to her. The pandemic wasn’t going to ruin her son’s first Halloween. “They didn’t have enough gas, so they turned around to go to the Shell station, and they were hit,” Volk said through tears during a telephone call from Children’s Hospital, where she has been with A.J. since Saturday afternoon. “She was supposed to be here, and she wasn’t answering her phone, so I was getting mad. I always used to say to her, ‘Why do you have a phone if you don’t answer it?’” Not long after, via social media, Volk saw photos and videos of a horrific two-vehicle crash at the intersection of Boyd Avenue and Andrews Street, just a few blocks from her home. “That’s how I found out, from Face- book. I asked my son, ‘Is that your sister’s van?’ And he said no, but I had this feeling. I just knew in my heart that it was her van,” Volk said, weeping softly. Volk made her way to the scene of the collision, where her worst fears were confirmed. She remembers speaking to a police officer, giving her daughter’s name, and being told the mangled van was her daughter’s. She doesn’t remember what hap- pened after that. Her world crumbled. Dethmers grew up in the North End. She was her mother’s miracle baby; Volk was told she wouldn’t be able to have more kids after her son was born. Seven years later, in March 1990, Jen- nifer was born. “I always wanted a little girl named Jenny,” Volk said, her voice soften- ing. “Back then, you didn’t name kids abbreviated versions of names, so I named her Jennifer. I used to call her my little miracle, because that’s what she was.” Dethmers attended Machray School and R.B. Russell Vocational High School, where she excelled in any- thing creative. She had a close circle of friends she grew up with and often referred to as her sisters or cousins. She was a big part of her community, taking part in vigils and walks for missing and murdered Indigenous women and girls. When she was in her mid-teens, Dethmers created her own memo- rial walk called For Them All, Youth Honouring Youth. She set up a series of events to honour young people who had gone missing or were lost to murder, suicide or drug addiction. Volk remembers telling her daughter the name didn’t sound right. “It should be ‘For All of Them,’” she told her. But Dethmers laughed and told her mom she liked the name. That’s how she talked, and that’s what she was going to call it. “I never thought we’d have to have one (a vigil) for her,” Volk said. Dethmers and the baby would come to Volk’s house for dinner every night. That was their routine. They would eat and visit, and then Dethmers would get A.J. ready for bed. They’d head to Tim Hortons for a cup of decaf coffee before calling it a night. Later in the evening, as Volk was trying to sleep, her phone notifications would start going off. “My phone would be pinging every night around midnight because Jenny would be tagging me in some funny meme or a video of A.J.,” Volk said. “My phone’s not pinging anymore.” Even in her darkest hour, Volk’s focus is on remembering how her daughter lived, not how she died. “She was my best friend,” Volk said. “She was helpful and kind and sweet. She had a sailor’s mouth, and if you pissed her off, boy, you better run.” Dethmers was coming into her own. She gave birth to her son Dec. 3. Her last trimester of her pregnancy was rough, but she relished her role as a mama bear. Volk said Dethmers thoroughly enjoyed being on maternity leave and the time it allowed her to spend with her son. She was kind and protective and would do anything for her little boy. She often shared videos of A.J. on her Facebook page. He was her world. Dethmers had already bought a tote full of Mickey Mouse decorations for her son’s first birthday, and his Christmas outfit for this year, telling her mom how excited she was for his first Christmas. “She said, ‘Mom, he’s going to be crawling around, pulling your tree down.’” Now, Volk sits with the little boy in hospital, praying he recovers from the massive injuries he suffered in the crash. He’s in critical condition, but he’s not getting worse, she said. It’s day-by-day now, not minute-by-minute. A little bit of hope in this tragic situa- tion. Volk said she is buoyed by the out- pouring of support from friends and strangers alike: the Facebook posts and tributes to her daughter, and fields messages, calls, food donations and visits. “So many people have shown up and reached out to me, and I am just so overwhelmed,” she said. “We miss her so much.” shelka79@hotmail.com Twitter: @ShelleyACook ‘She was my best friend’ Mother mourns ‘kind and sweet’ daughter killed by truck fleeing police SHELLEY COOK SUPPLIED Jenny Dethmers and her infant son, A.J., enjoy a day at the beach in July. CANDY Volk leaned on her family for strength as she rounded the corner of Andrews Street Tuesday night. When she got to her destination — a Boyd Avenue tree surrounded by flickering candles, joyful photographs and the scent of burning sage — she got down on the ground and wept. Four days earlier, her daughter, Jen- nifer Dethmers, was riding with her boyfriend, stepdaughter, and infant son, when a speeding pickup truck flee- ing police struck their minivan right there on Boyd Avenue. Dethmers died in hospital, and the baby, who will be 10 months old next week, remains in critical condition. A 43-year-old man was charged with 12 criminal offences for the crash. Volk was not alone in her tears: hun- dreds of people had gathered to remem- ber Dethmers, and to pray for her son, at the place where her life ended tragic- ally at age 30. With her family at her side, the grieving mother stood up, took to the megaphone. All of Boyd Avenue was listening. “Jenny was an amazing, amazing woman,” Volk said, fighting back tears. “She was very fierce. She loved fierce, and she protected fierce.” In the few months since her son was born, Dethmers’ love and protective spirit became even stronger, Volk said. She spent Saturday morning decorat- ing her house for Halloween, vowing that even in a pandemic, she’d make her son’s first one special. “She really was a mama bear,” Volk said. All down the street, people stood and listened, while Wandering Sound played traditional honour songs on a large drum in the middle of the road. Their voices echoed loudly as Dethmers’ nieces danced, celebrating their aunt’s life through music and movement. On the boulevard where family and friends congregated, beside the decor- ated tree, seven placards were placed in the ground, covered in cut-out butterflies and pictures that showed Dethmers at all stages of her life: in the only photos where she didn’t smile, she was making a funny face that no doubt made someone else grin. “She was a silly girl,” her mom said. As guests lit candles, the wind howled, the street lights flickered, and rain began to spit from the darkened sky. It didn’t matter: the crowd stayed, and one by one, people knelt beside the impromptu memorial, saying quiet prayers and taking a moment to reflect. When her daughter used to phone her, Volk said she would never say goodbye when the call ended. “She would just say ‘I love you.’” She urged those in attendance to remember Dethmers not for how she died, but how she lived, and to share their lives with those around them. “Spend time with your loved ones, no matter how busy you are. Tell them you love them. Hug them,” she said. “Life is too short, and it can end in an instant. We found that out this past weekend.” ben.waldman@freepress.mb.ca Hundreds honour ‘fierce’ mother at vigil JOHN WOODS / WINNIPEG FREE PRESS Candy Volk, mother of Jennifer Dethmers, is comforted at a vigil for her daughter on Boyd Avenue Tuesday. Dethmers died when her vehicle was struck by a pickup attempting to evade police at the intersection of Boyd and Andrews Street. BEN WALDMAN B_01_Sep-30-20_FP_01.indd B1 2020-09-29 10:20 PM ;